Monday, November 26, 2007
last Tuesday morning i found out a past coworkers husband had passed away. He was 44. He had a 8 and 12 year old. He was the "perfect dad". It was stunning, i didnt know what to say, what to write, what to do. What do you tell a 40 year old widow and her kids? The whole situation was so sad, but yesterday at the wake it was so refreshing to see Kim and her smile, her jokes, and her barriers, i guess. I was the one crying at HER husbands funeral and she was making me laugh, telling me it was ok to cry... what an oxymoron.
So if you are reading this, please just keep the Lord family in your prayers (Kim, Austin and Allie). Esp. pray for the kids. Austin was playing basketball with his dad, Scott, when this happened, right there in the gym. He is really struggling with blaming himself and is going to need some help during these years when "a boy needs his dad" i am not sure what else to say, it is all still seeping in.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
ok, we are also arrogant (drew says he isnt).
but really, we got to jump into action on friday morning. Like most crazy people, we were out the door at 3.45am to catch the "Black Friday" deals. We started at JCPenneys and grabbed the last 2 Christmas tress for a sweet price and were out that door by 420AM. we had to stopped at my parents house and drop them off (one for us, one for the rents) because there was no room for me in the trailblazer. I forgot to mention, we dragged my mom out of bed at this hour too!
so then we went back and walked around the mall a bit, anxiously awaiting the opening of Macy's at 6. Drew and I stood in line just before 6 to get in. there was a line upstairs and then a line downstairs at the escalators (not on yet). all of a sudden we heard screaming and i assumed they opened the doors, but soon realized that wasnt the case. At first i thought someone was caught in the escalator because at first glance i just saw someone lying on the ground. drew claims he knew someone had fallen down the stairs right away (in his words he is a "trained investigator").
As everyone else stared down from the balcony, drew and i ran down the up escalator, still not on (thank God). I assessed the situation and still thought the lady was unconscious. I took her pulse and thought i felt it, but my hands were shaky so bad i wasnt sure. I checked her wrist while trying to get her to talk to me and then realized she was ok.
she had a pulse
she could talk
she could squeeze my hands
now our only problem was that she had blood gushing out the back of her head.
after directing someone to call 911 and get the store managers (we were still so scared they would turn on the escalator and open the large doors near us and the crowd would rush in) i later found out that drew had his hand over the "emergency stop" bottom just in case.
There was a nurse there that was holding pressure on the back of the ladies head and we gathered all the info that EMS would need when they arrived (which was at least 15 minutes) good thing the lady was alive. It turns out they started to walk down the stairs and the lady tripped and fell 2/3 of the way down. We could tell by the coffee stains trailing down the stairs. Her daughter was with her and seemed awfully calm during this whole event. It makes me wonder if this has happened before. :)
I was ready to save her life, do CPR, save the day. but instead i just got to hold her hand. I shouldnt say "just" because i could tell she was scared to death and probably would have tried to get up if we werent there to make sure she didnt.
So anyway, I will probably never know how she did or if she is OK, but it was exciting nontheless and to top that, the item that i wanted to buy was still there! yea!
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
i must be honest, i really struggle with Bible history. that is why i like going to church so much (one reason). someone who is much smarter than I and has already done all the research explains to me the whys, how's and where's of so many many years ago (selfish, i know). anyway so the past two days of Solo have been in Leviticus
Day 8 and 9: Letting go of Sin
I've been reading about offerings (absolution-offerings, whole-burnt-offering an so on.) it is a bit over my head. but i do get the letting go of sin, of sending of the animal with our sins, our iniquities. God says He didn't give animals the capacity to take on hurt or guilt, so we shouldn't feel guilty "giving" our sins to the animals/sacrifices. I am still working on this whole thought. But i see where they are coming for. it makes it seem so easy.
Give sin to animal, send animal away, sin forgiven. i dont mean to make light of it, i know there is much more to it, but like i said, i'm getting there.
ok, time for a run with my girls...Rain, Rain, go away!
Monday, November 19, 2007
When i first starting swimming this is what i felt like... take away my floaties and i was a goner. (It is funny how i find the need to find a photo that matches my story, but that seems to be half the fun on my new blogging habit.) I started swimming last summer when i was hurt with a running injury and had to find a non weight bearing activity to stay in shape. I was training for my first marathon so this was devastating to me at the time. i had no clue what to do since even biking bothered my leg, so i thought i would learn how to swim (at age 24). that was interesting, but with a little persistence anyone can learn anything (just about) so each day got a little easier and before i knew it i could swim a whole length without choking on water or something similar! But in all seriousness i really did start to enjoy my new activity and haven't stopped much. I did a couple of triathlons this summer but since have taken a break and lost my focus lately without an event to train for. So yesterday i decided it is time to get back on track. so last night i biked and this morning a finally got a good swim in ( 1 mile). I need an event to train for, which is very difficult here in Michigan , but i'll find something. i might even make a game time decision to jump in the Detroit turkey trot, well see :) i became such a good swimmer i will probably end up in Beijing next year (unless i turn down the Olympics, its a big decision)
ok ok, i know it is bad to lie. sorry!
its official: my friends and I are signed up to be bell ringers! (Dec. 15th for you relevant people, mark your calendars!) i can say this is a first and hopefully will be fun, but i guess we really aren't doing it to have fun, but to help those in need.
fun is a bonus.
The above bell is too big to ring, if fact it is the Worlds BIGGEST bell!so we ring a smaller version. I wonder if i am allowed to put kids that i dont know on my blog?...probably not, sorry kids.
This is a much more meaningful picture that i just found. It is very cool to see how practical the SA is. So think twice next time you walk past the red kettle. It is giving people hope, warmth, food and joy. Ok, that wasnt meant to be a guilt trip. but really all those pockets full of change really do add up.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Not really sure how this writer is different, but we will keep looking...i'll keep you posted.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Well first off, nothing to do with what i just read, but i am plain old fire up after small group tonight. i am excited to serve, share, and hopefully spoil as many of God's people as I can. No strings attached. My prayer is for boldness, like i said tonight, my intentions are incredible, too bad intentions don't get the job done. Like today for example, i had this urge to pay for the mans coffee in front of me in line, but i chickened out, i was afraid what he might think of me, or that he would be offended, like i thought he looked poor or something. What i really need to do is just give it to God and let Him take control of the petty stuff. I am excited about what our small group is up to for this holiday season.. Yea!
OK onto the reading. Today was Moses and the burning bush. I wonder, did Moses think "maybe i should put out this fire" because to be honest if i saw a bush on fire, i wouldn't think "maybe it is God" I would think, oh shoot, where is the water, i should call 911 or maybe even just leave. Well good think Moses just had faith i suppose, he knew it was God and stayed, took off his sandals but then he hid and was afraid.
Why was he afraid?
Afraid to see his glory?Why did he want to hide?
was he ashamed?
it is just like Adam hiding in the garden when he realized he was naked... I am not sure i have experienced God quite like that...I'll have to think about that one.
But nonetheless, i do think God is stirring right now, and i am just going to "pay attention" and respond. I am willing, willing to respond. Good Night Friends.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
I have realized I am full of questions, mainly because lack of knowledge but more even more so because of this great desire i have to learn and understand. Today we read about Jacob wrestling with "a man" who is apparently God or an angel. So what i struggle to understand is why God is asking so many questions (because we all know he already knows the answers). And what exactly does "he blessed him" mean? can other people "bless" people back then except for God? and if not, why doesn't Jacob know that it was God he was wrestling with? And if it really was God, then way couldn't He beat Jacob when they were wrestling? or better yet, why was he letting Jacob win? Was it all so he could be named Israel (G0d-wrestler). Is that why Israel is named so, were the Israelites God-wrestlers? Someday i will come back with answers, but for now, just more questions. I need to just keep reading...
Sunday, November 11, 2007
As i talked about the other day, I am starting a new devotional from The Message called Remix: Solo. My goal is (i seem to be big on goals these days) to blog a bit each day about the message, if i have time, maybe some days will take 4 days to read and that's ok, its not a challenge to get through, but to real dive in and get lost.
Ever wonder what would have happened if "the woman" never picked the fruit? or what if "the man" just said NO...would this world as we know it be entirely different? would Jesus still have had to come? was it just a matter of time before the serpent tricked someone? would it have been Adam/eve's children?
Well, we can wonder all we want, but the fact is: they picked, ate, sinned and here we are. Sometimes we deliberately sin against God. We "pick the fruit" that we know we shouldn't. man, why do we do that? we know how sweet life is, in His arms, with His love and we just turn away and enjoy the sweetness of this world. why?
My prayer is one for forgiveness and desire to turn away from the temptations that we encounter so often. That we can look the serpent in the eyes and command him back to he came from.
- I'm not defined by what I'm not. - Yes, we all sin, but NO we do not have to be defined as sinners. we are not defined by our faults, failures, sins and letdowns. We can choose to be defined by the Grace that covers us and helps us in our rebuilding, forgiveness and mercy towards others, but more importantly for ourselves.
- I'm loved just because I exist. - Pretty powerful in itself huh? God loves us just because he made us, not because of anything we do, did or will did. that's it. period.
- Jesus, the Rabbi, ACTUALLY thinks we can be like Him. This was something i didn't know much about, but it was really interesting to learn about the Jewish faith and how only the best of the best made it to be Rabbi's instead of learning the family trade. And when a Rabbi saw someone with absolute potential he may ask him to "come, follow me." and that is exactly what Jesus did with His disciples and exactly what He did with each of us. He really thinks we CAN be like Him.
- We need to live up to what we've already attained. -God has given us such ability, we already have it, it is IN us, we just have to use it.
- The thought has stuck with me the most so far is just the ability to 'long to be comfortable in my own skin' It is something we probably don't think about, but really, how many people are completely comfortable with who they are? We often care for others, mentor others, heal others, pray for OTHERS because we are afraid to face our own pain.
Friday, November 9, 2007
Thursday, November 8, 2007
I have just been praying for the ability to help others see how blessed we are, how plain old spoiled we, we are so blinded, so blinded. Lord, let us have eyes to see, give us the strength to handle seeing "with your eyes" to see the pain you see, but also the joy that you see, may we be so blessed that we can see just an ounce of you joy. Thank you Lord